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2003-05-31 - 2:27 a.m. Short, Uninteresting Probably going to move -- there is little remaining in Olympia for me. And signs look good. I am renting month-to-month since my lease expired, no problems there. I have no one depending on me to be here, no roommates, and as of two weeks from now no real reason to stay at work either, since the one boss I've really respected and enjoyed working with is going back to Hawaii. I think somewhere around here in the typical moving process I'm supposed to look around and say, "What, and give up all this?" Books, yes, those will hard to leave. I have put considerable effort and money into amassing a decent collection of quality books for someone my age. They are replaceable, though I do not really wish to lose them, since simply having them around makes me feel better somehow. Ever stroke the cover of a book when you were down, not needing to read it since you could nearly recite it? Sim isn't coming due to some neato keen errors on the JetBlue webpage and scheduling issues. James has disappeared from the radar, owing me a thousand dollars; I could probably get it back, since I know where he lives, but I think I'll simply apply it to my conscience as appropriate balance for removing him from my list of friends. And Catherine, ah Catherine. I heard from an employee that she's decided that what really happened in our last conversation was that I got really mad for some reason and called her a bunch of names (including "stupid bitch") and then she responded by calling me a "stupid fucking asshole" and telling me to tell her when I was ready to be polite again. Oddly, I don't actually remember any of it happening that way. Sim seems to find it rather ridiculous, since we've had some bad arguments and she doesn't remember me ever calling her names. Which is more or less how I remember it, so I think we can rest assured that I'm not delusional in this case. Catherine, on the other hand, has now pulled too much stereotypical so-called girl-crap for me to have a sufficient amount of respect for her. I respect my friends or they are not my friends, QED baby. The friends I still have are as physically inaccessable to me here, in Olympia, as they would be anywhere else in the world, and are thus not a significant consideration in figuring out where to move. I was thinking about San Francisco for awhile, but remembered that I hate California, and decided against it. Portland and Seattle came up for consideration, but I've the feeling Seattle would be more of the same, plus crime. Portland seemed like a decent idea, then I checked around job listings and discovered that the economy appears to have recently fallen through the floor, even for the low-end jobs I tend to favor. And then John asked why I didn't just come to Hawaii and rent a room somewhere and live on the beach and party. I blinked and said Hawaii sounded very very nice, and more like somewhere that you would want to stay, rather than visit, and that I didn't think I was ready to settle down just yet. Says the guy who's lived in this city for fourteen years now, minus time for college. My perspective on life is changing a lot, it seems by comparison to how I've reacted to similar events in the past. Picking up and leaving -- or even just leaving -- is a viable option for me now, and not just another form of running away. So that is all, really: I do not know what I am doing and may be moving and may be moving to Hawaii. I hope that you found this entry enlightening and deep, because I learned nothing from it whatsoever.
DLand |