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2003-05-26 - 1:40 a.m. Death & Car Maintainence I suppose that one of the things that bothers me about death -- among the myriad aspects of it that seem impossibly asinine -- is the way in which it renders an individual accessable. A living being would be changing, mutable; someone dead can be known in their entirety with enough astute observation and the thorough gathering of information. The private thoughts, the things shared with only one other, these are also casualties of the cooling of the body. I imagine that I will feel bitterness when someone else can "catch up" in knowing someone that I have loved. It should be said, lest this be misunderstood: I in no way intend to diminish the other negative aspects of death. I simply choose to focus on this one for the moment. P., from Nastenka's world, left a note in Temek's guestbook to the effect of, "You want to be in love with her? Now you can." In some sense, this is quite true: she has been made accessable, to a degree. Which is, to another degree, something I was thinking about earlier this week when I wondered whether a total expression of one's thoughts simply meant that there wasn't very much to say, words being what they are. It's not just about what you write, though -- situational knowledge of an author or artist enables you to read between the lines of what is actually presented and to perhaps gain a real understanding of the person behind the substance. Which is, in its' positive aspects -- assuming that the person we come to understand is worthy of our respect and admiration -- quite similar to the intellectual character of love. The situational knowledge that allows this, however, is the thing that cannot be relayed or recieved with any certainty; there is no true substitute for experience, and intuition's notoriously unreliable. In other news, I think that I am going to pick up a hosting package offered to members of SomethingAwful by one of the mods there and figure out how to make a good webpage for Sim's music, currently recorded under the nom de guitar of Sub-Par. She's hampered at the moment by not having an online source for her music, I think, and it's something I can help with. Plus, just think, I'd get to be webmaster@domainname.com. I've always wanted to ignore important email from dissatisfied users. ^_^ Recently leaked her demo with her permission to the SomethingAwful music forum -- reviews were wholeheartedly positive, mostly choosing to focus on "amazing" vocals and "surprisingly good" musical quality. Both of which are quotes, not sarcasm -- I heartily endorse her work for reasons other than the fact that I know her. I think it'll be good for me to actually work on something that could theoretically genuinely help someone realize their dreams; all the better that it's Sim. I can't do as much as I'd like -- it would be inordinately difficult for me to shake down local newspapers (in New York, from Olympia), talk to local bookstore owners about small shows (in New York, from Olympia), track down the coffeehouses with live music (in New York, from Olympia), or advertise successfully with knowledge of the demographic (in New York, from Olympia) in the local indie culture sources (which I don't know, since they're in New York, and I'm in Olympia). But I do what I can -- I'd regret it deeply if she never got the opportunity to succeed, and will do what I can when I can to help out. Living out dreams by proxy -- it's not so bad, really. I honestly don't have much of substance to relay in this entry -- just felt like writing before I clean up my house. My boss, John, is coming by in the morning because he heard that my car has ceased to function and volunteered to fix it -- so, naturally, since I can't really do much in the way of providing technical assistance, I can at least offer refreshment and a clean house when he's done or taking a break. Not that I have any refreshment -- hrm. I guess I have to clean and go shopping for something. Ah yes, M&M's, he will eat M&M's. Now I know what I must do and it is time to complete my tasks. Ciao.
DLand |